Life

Life

I really want to make a effort in keeping up with my blog. I use to do so well. Let me do a month to month break down of 2012 and 2013 so far.

January 2012: Felt pretty hateful towards everyone. I was betrayed and heart broken. 

February 2012: I was finding myself again. Planting myself as a single mom. Suffering from love for my husband but adjusting to the idea of being single and building a friendship foundation with Josh instead of lovers as we had been. 

March 2012: Always fighting against the waves of parenthood. Juliet was having a hard time adjusting to our new life. Lots of going back and forth. I was not the person I always knew I was. Instead I was a stranger to even myself. 

April 2012: Our final goodbyes. I took my first step to the path I though I had to take. Cried a lot and swore I wouldn't take him back. Moved out and moved on.

May 2012: Party much? Life was a party. Spend my days with my beautiful daughter. Living, Laughing and loving. Became close to Josh. Closer then I ever was. We became best friends again. 

June 2012: Life at home was still crazy. Friendship slowly become more. 

July 2012: Friendships was broken and damaged. I stared my new life for the 3rd time that year. Josh and I made amends and desired to take our relationship to a different level. To become more then friends and even more then lovers. We found out I was pregnant the end of July. 

August 2012: Birthday girl! My Juliet turned 3. We announced to family and friends that we were expecting. Mix signals across the board. No one really understood how I was pregnant when Josh and I were separated. Well it obvious really. We were not living together true but we were married and together just living apart.

September: Many trials with what was right and what was wrong. Found my inner beauty through the eyes of my daughter. Accepted things I couldn't change. Started to forgive and forget. 

October 2012: Halloween time! Fell for him all over again. Remembered just how much I loved him and how easy forgiving came. Missed her like crazy but couldn't admit it at least not to the new person she became. I longed for old times when things were not so crazy. 

November 2012: Let him come home. Figured he had waited long enough. Welcomed him home with open arms. He spoiled me. Juliet had never been happier. We started our final faze of how life will be. We found out we were having a son. 

December 2012: Big 24. Pregnancy was kicking my ass. I was put on bed rest shortly after my birthday.  I focused on being a mom and getting ready for the baby to come. Brought in my birthday with a open heart and relieved mind. 

January 2013: New year! Was able to sit with my husband feeling like I accomplished so much the past year. It was the first time we sat and talked openly about how we felt and why he did what he did and why I did what I did. We made promises that we will always keep. From my new years kiss to bonding with my beautiful daughter, life was beautiful. I was still on bed rest and did not see a end coming but hoped one would. 

February 2013: Tis the season of love. This February meant more to me then any before. I walked the path I though would never be set in place for me. He did buy me flowers and then some : ) I wont lie not all of it was nice. My pains were worse and I couldn't bare pregnancy any longer.  I had my baby shower. Not one of my friends showed. I didn't make it a point to complain back then. I didn't care to make anyone feel guilty for me. But to be honest I was hurt. I reconnected with people I never though I could.

March 2013: Connors arrival. Connor was born March 26th 7lbs 14 oz 19 inches long. Life couldn't of gotten any better. I had never been closer to my husband. I am madly in love with my Sweet Juliet and my Handsome little Connor. I had several complications with pregnancy and even more with delivery. But I did it and I made it though. We welcomed Connor with love. Juliet adjusted so well to her little brother. A bond was made between them that will never be broken.

April 2013: Hes how old? We celebrated Josh's Birthday. Spent the whole month breathing in my new roll of being a parent to two beautiful little ones. Many sleepless nights with the new baby but so worth it.

May 2013: Celebrated my 4 year wedding anniversary with the handsome Mr. Clark. Went to windover with my lover and had a blast. Started packing and getting ready to move. Started my new job. Welcomed new friends into my life.

June 2013: Realized it had been a year since Josh and I had started our relationship back up. We moved to a better area for our kids. I spent my days watching my kids connect and love each other. Hit milestones with Juliet. Snuck out for dates with my honey. 

July 2013: Realized just how lucky I am to have what I have. I have 2 beautiful kids that know nothing but love. I have a loving husband who will give up anything for me. I have a caring family. I found that I have friends who without a doubt support me in all aspects of my life. I found friendship in a girl I would have never expected to. Had many late night talks with Josh about things we want to accomplish and goals. I did spend most of the month sick and stress over illness and work. I quickly got life back on track and life started to get easier.

August 2013: We continue to adjust to parenthood. Being a parent is not easy but very rewarding. Juliet Turned 4 yesterday and Connor said his first word, mama. Finally I feel like im on a path that I will go far on. Josh has found a new job and things will be easier from here on out. We have spend to much time over the years stressing about how we would get by. Fighting against the waves becomes to heavy. So for now we have grounded ourselves to something strong. I have faith and hope for the rest of my life. I am so far from that hopeless place.